Aging gracefully...

in all actuality should be, living full of grace. What a blessing it is to be 50 years old. It is a number where life, finally makes sense. Life is now filled with a wealth of clarity. The clarity to see that 50, is not the end of the road; only the beginning. For now, my soul has purpose. A soul embraced with inner peace, self assurance and contentment.

When I was 19, I lived in a house in Berkeley; where there were many students, who were philosophy majors. There were many late night discussions, on the purpose of life. I could never conceptualize the word purpose, in a philosophical way; my purpose on this earth, to be exact. The mere thought of what was I here for, left me feeling uneasy; as it always seemed like a overwhelming word, of such enormity. Only when I touched one persons life, did I fully understand; what that word meant, for me. Simply, a small gesture with the possibility, of a ripple of impact.

Inner turmoil, was always my best friend. I allowed it to follow me wherever I went. The day that I grasped the understanding, that people only do to you what you allow them to do to you. The day that I embraced forgiveness, for that which it was. That it had nothing to do with releasing others from their actions; but had everything to do with releasing myself, from the paralyzing emotions, that were controlling every aspect of my life. Then and only then: did I finally know what inner peace, truly was.

To gain self assurance, I first had to understand; that others opinions of me, were simply that, their opinions and their issues.

Contentment, was not a easy one, for me to be blessed with. It took a deep pot hole in the road, for me to get it. Though it was always before me; only when I was faced with losing what I took for granted, did I get it.

My 50's is a rebirth of my soul, every year after, is the best of yet to come.