I have a little more inner calmness at this moment. Honestly how long it will last, I don't know. Two years ago, when I was diagnosed, cancer was the furthest thing from what I had expected. Now hope is not a word I embrace. For me that would be looking at this situation in rose colored glasses. Reality does not come with rose colored glasses.

The waiting is the hardest part for me, not in a impatient way, though. From my experience last time, after diagnosis, things happened so quickly, it made my head spin.

Today I schedule a diagnostic mammogram.