The ties that bind

Years ago, I was driving my daughter and her friend to a middle school dance. I sat silent, listening to the conversation going on. Wondering if they were going to breathe between sentences. They, forgetting I was in the car. Ah, the plethora of information I acquired; by just listening.

Fast forward, to now. Once again I quietly sit back and listen. This time, a group of women and their views, on their candidate of choice. I always knew who I would be voting for. The plethora of information they provide, brings clarity; on why I won't, be voting for their candidate.

Today I turned a lovely shade of vintage green...

ABC Video

Magnitude 5.4 - GREATER LOS ANGELES AREA, CALIFORNIA
2008 July 29 18:42:15 UTC

Northridge, California 1994 01 17 12: 30:55 UTC (local time: 4:30 a.m.) Magnitude 6.7

San Fernando, California 1971 02 09 14:00 UTC Magnitude 6.6

I was born and raised in So. Ca. In 1971 I was 14. Then 1994, 23 years later; the memory as vivid as the first one.

Then there was today. You know when it starts a shaking, exactly what it is. Just as terrifying as the first one; so many years ago.

There is a whole new world out there

June 2007
Shannan on her graduation day, with Grandpa. Not Grandpas finest picture.

It's finally time, that I learn how to use the digital camera. Also I need to learn, how to import the pictures to the computer. Mind you this is not a picture, I took, as am I still learning. This was one that was already in the camera. It's a bit of trial and error, mostly error. Still haven't got the hang of it.

Refrigerator retro

I adore retro refrigerator magnets. Mind you they are not easy to find. These lovelies are porcelain and will soon have a new home.

Once upon a time, I was into stockpiling groceries. This was a good idea, when the kids were younger, as there was four little mouths to feed. The years have passed, but now I only have one 19 year old, left at home.

I started writing this post, a couple of hours ago. What is above is the original post. I left it for a bit, not sure of the purpose or where I wanted it to go. A few hours and many thoughts later.

Let me go back to the first part of this post. My pantries are full. Full of what I don't even know, due to plain and simple; buying and not using. Monday night I made a salad. All the ingredients had been bought recently except, the salad dressing, which was in the fridge. That night I suffered a really bad stomach ache. I took a look at the dressing and it had expired in 2007. I have no idea, how long it had been sitting in the refrigerator.

So today I decided to pull everything out of one cabinet. A very narrow, but very deep one. Can after can, box after box of very expired food. I am not going to take the chance of getting anyone ill. So there was no other choice than to trash it. A couple of large size trash bags full. It made me sick. Not physically sick, but sick about the waste.

The ties that bind, my thoughts was todays post on the blog; Down To Earth. Reading Rhonda's post earlier, triggered a connection. My awareness to be exact. The wasted food just a symbol. Simply, I need to be more aware of the choices I make; in all aspects of my life.

For if I want to live a authentic life; I need to weave these gentle threads of awareness and intertwine them, into all that I am.

More gratitude, than words can ever express

This is one of those days, that nothing can take away from the.......I cant even think of words, that comes close.

The chemotherapy ended two years ago. Then there was the three month check-ups and the CT scans; which always showed something. Then there was the waiting time between appointments, for the next CT scan, MRI or PET scan. Then the slow motion, tic toc, tic toc waiting time, until the results. I would hold my breath and wait. The anxiety always there, in my shadow; wherever I went. A spot on my liver, a lump in my breast, something on my ovaries; a biopsy, a ultrasound, another scan, a different kind of scan.

More waiting... more anxiety... fear... tears... and on... and on.

Then there was today. I had my six month check-up with my Oncologist. He went over the last batch of tests done and the recent blood work and he said...

Everything is normal and you are healthy...such sweet, sweet words.

I left with tears in my eyes. I hugged Shannan when I got home; held her so close. Feeling for the first time. in such a very long time; that this hug will be one of many, many more.

Fresh from the fields

I adore the lovely mini watermelons, I buy at Costco. I am never disappointed, as they are always sweet. Tonight's dinner salad with baby greens, carrots cucumbers, tomato, avocado and chicken. With a side of this sweet, red, juicy fruit. I also just learned they are full of lycopene, just like tomatoes.

Abundance of gratitude...

for Monday

To keep me grounded, is to remind myself, of what is truly important; gratitude for the simple things.

Today I am grateful for
... the upcoming milestones, that I will be so very blessed to see

Abundance of grey blessings

Its been a while since I last colored my hair. I use the kind that washes out. The only sign, that it is time to color once again; is the strands of grey that start to appear. Just recently, as I looked in the mirror; there they were. There was no urgency to hide the strands. Instead a moment of clarity. A lovely ah ha moment. For every grey hair that is blessed upon me, is one more glorious day, I have been given.

There are two things, that I am so sure of...

that to be 51, is the best of yet to come. Also that I am so elated, that my daughter wants to tell me about her day at work; her first job to be exact. Her perception is (key words, her perception) that I should come and spend time doing all the wonderful activities, that her place of employment (key words, senior center) offers.

Now age is truly, just a state of mind; and only when you reach that age (key words, her age is 19), do you understand that. So for now I shall listen to how her day went and take with a grain of salt; her ideas of how compatible I would be, at the senior center.

Maybe one day, but not anytime soon...